Wednesday, March 16, 2016

R E S T I N G B I T C H F A C E

                 I am very aware that I do not always wear the most excitable expression. Not for any particular reason, other than the fact that I’ve got a condition. I’ve been self- diagnosed with resting bitch face, and I wear it with pride… because why the hell not. I know for a fact that I am not the only person dealing with this, and I will need to explain exactly what is going on for you to understand.
                There is ZERO correlation between my thoughts and my face. I seriously think that my face muscles have just given up on any kind of communication with my brain. I could hear a joke, bust out laughing, and smile and as soon as the feeling of laughing stops I look miserable again. Not because I am, just because that is just how my facial muscles relax… into a frown. I obviously do not mean to look like I am having a terrible time all the time, because 98% of the time I really am enjoying myself, I promise! To be completely honest too, the front facing camera is my worst enemy. Although I am now aware that I look unhappy all the time, there once was a time where I’d be surprised when I turn on my camera on my cell phone, and not only was I greeted with a double chin, as we all are when we turn that damn thing on, on accident, but I would be greeted by a miserable double chin staring back at me!
                For a while I had to question whether I actually looked like a bitch all the time, or if it was an illusion. UNTIL I went to a restaurant and was told by a complete stranger that I looked like the most miserable person he’d ever seen. So, I’ve got a confirmed bitch face. I’ve come to be proud of it, after you accept that this is the face you’ll be wearing around from now on, you’ve got to perfect it. Own it, and certainly take advantage of its usefulness. My best example, if you’re on any sort of public transport at night, whip out the bitchiest face you can and no one will bother you. So it does have its handiness for certain, because never once have I been approached by a stranger on the tube, and I’d like to thank my bitch face for that.
                I would also like to address my melodramatic reactions to everything… ever. I personally believe it is a side effect of the resting bitch face, I find it super difficult to be over excited about some mediocre thing happening around me, I CANNOT pretend to be having a good time, when I am just flowing along like the rest of us, unbothered really. I guess that was a kind of nice way of me saying that I really don’t want you to be disappointed when I am not as excited (or even remotely excited at all) as you are when you tell me how your dog just got a new haircut, or some other thrilling news of that caliber.
                Anyway, love it or hate it, it is my face, and I’m going to own it. So don’t be too worried if I look like I am not enjoying your company, or if we’re having a conversation and I haven’t smiled in a while DO NOT FEAR, I can’t control it. Plus, you’d know if I was actually uninterested in what you were saying, because I am often not afraid to communicate that.

This post is dedicated to all my fellow resting bitch face sufferers, I get it. I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, maybe let out a little laugh here or there, and realized that it was a joke (kind of) and certainly not meant to offend anyone.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Cheers! xoxo

No comments:

Post a Comment