I am very aware that I
do not always wear the most excitable expression. Not for any particular
reason, other than the fact that I’ve got a condition. I’ve been self-
diagnosed with resting bitch face, and I wear it with pride… because why the
hell not. I know for a fact that I am not the only person dealing with this,
and I will need to explain exactly what is going on for you to understand.
There is ZERO correlation
between my thoughts and my face. I seriously think that my face muscles have
just given up on any kind of communication with my brain. I could hear a joke,
bust out laughing, and smile and as soon as the feeling of laughing stops I
look miserable again. Not because I am, just because that is just how my facial
muscles relax… into a frown. I obviously do not mean to look like I am having a
terrible time all the time, because 98% of the time I really am enjoying
myself, I promise! To be completely honest too, the front facing camera is my
worst enemy. Although I am now aware that I look unhappy all the time, there
once was a time where I’d be surprised when I turn on my camera on my cell
phone, and not only was I greeted with a double chin, as we all are when we
turn that damn thing on, on accident, but I would be greeted by a miserable
double chin staring back at me!
For a while I had to question
whether I actually looked like a bitch all the time, or if it was an illusion.
UNTIL I went to a restaurant and was told by a complete stranger that I looked
like the most miserable person he’d ever seen. So, I’ve got a confirmed bitch
face. I’ve come to be proud of it, after you accept that this is the face
you’ll be wearing around from now on, you’ve got to perfect it. Own it, and
certainly take advantage of its usefulness. My best example, if you’re on any
sort of public transport at night, whip out the bitchiest face you can and no
one will bother you. So it does have its handiness for certain, because never
once have I been approached by a stranger on the tube, and I’d like to thank my
bitch face for that.
I would also like to address my
melodramatic reactions to everything… ever. I personally believe it is a side
effect of the resting bitch face, I find it super difficult to be over excited
about some mediocre thing happening around me, I CANNOT pretend to be having a
good time, when I am just flowing along like the rest of us, unbothered really.
I guess that was a kind of nice way of me saying that I really don’t want you
to be disappointed when I am not as excited (or even remotely excited at all)
as you are when you tell me how your dog just got a new haircut, or some other
thrilling news of that caliber.
Anyway, love it or hate it, it
is my face, and I’m going to own it. So don’t be too worried if I look like I am
not enjoying your company, or if we’re having a conversation and I haven’t
smiled in a while DO NOT FEAR, I can’t control it. Plus, you’d know if I was
actually uninterested in what you were saying, because I am often not afraid to
communicate that.
This post is dedicated
to all my fellow resting bitch face sufferers, I get it. I hope you’ve enjoyed
this post, maybe let out a little laugh here or there, and realized that it was
a joke (kind of) and certainly not meant to offend anyone.
Cheers! xoxo
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